Speaking with Intention

March 14, 2022

Ah, here we are in cold, blustery March..still feeling the effects of winter, yet so close to spring (at least here in New York). We have made it 49 days since Zach has been in a hospital. It is also a figurative reminder that things are progressing in the right direction, but not to get too comfortable just yet as anything can change on the dime. I would have to say this is a record for us, but we are very fortunate to be counting the days out versus the days in a hospital. I also find myself constantly thinking about other families going through similar situations that we have gone through; wishing I could reach each one of them to tell them it will be okay.

Since we have been spending more time together as a family now that Zach has been home more consistently, I have noticed our parenting style is slowly evolving with having to be more conscientious of more things that may affect Zach. I have also noticed that I try to make a point to speak with more intention whether it is directed at Zach or my other children. Even if my children may not always understand what I am saying to them, I want them to feel what I am saying to them.

I am sure we can all look back on different memories and remember how each one made us feel..maybe some brought us tears of joy while others just made us really upset or maybe even isolated. I have also noticed, that not everyone speaks with intention..saying what you mean and taking accountability for the words that we share with the people around us is not always acknowledged. Whatever it may be, I believe that speaking with intention does help foster a great bond with our children and/or the people around us.

Knowing Zach could struggle with communication years down the road, as many children with Down syndrome do, does concern me at times. I wonder what life will look like or I even worry how will he know that I simply want to tell him that I love him? Maybe I am getting ahead of myself as I sometimes do, but this is where speaking with intention has stemmed from for me personally.

Even if there are moments where I am not certain that the words I am speaking are understood, I will make it my mission to make sure he can feel my words. This will take time, practice, consistency, and a whole lot of love. At the end of the day, each of my children will know just how much they are loved and will hopefully be able to look back with fondness on all of the meaningful lessons they were able to learn.

Mary Vesterling